Day-to-day challenges can weigh heavily on your mind, impacting every area of your life. For example, as a pilot, you face responsibilities from managing complex flight systems, responding to unexpected emergencies, and navigating high-pressure checkrides. These tasks present potential stressors that require your full attention and expertise. Similarly, in your personal life, concerns about family dynamics during a holiday dinner or the unpredictability of traffic before an important meeting can heighten your anxiety.
Effectively managing daily stressors is crucial for your well-being and professional success. Stephen Covey's defined Circle of Control and Circle of Influence provide valuable framework to help you navigate these challenges. This article explores applying these principles to manage uncertainties, support mental health, and foster personal growth, empowering you to thrive on the ground and on the flight deck.
Understanding the Circle of Control and Influence
In Stephen Covey's book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, the Circle of Control and Influence refers to the areas where you can control or influence outcomes. This includes aspects like your behavior, relationships with loved ones and colleagues, and approach to health and professional development.
For example, if you are stressed about a family gathering, focus on how you communicate and the environment you create rather than worrying about family dynamics. This shift in focus can lead to greater productivity and overall well-being.
Impact on Anxiety
Your sense of control directly affects your anxiety levels. When you concentrate on your Circle of Control—such as preparing thoroughly for an important checkride event and maintaining a positive attitude—you generally feel more empowered and less anxious.
Conversely, worrying about factors outside your control, like how family members might interact during a holiday dinner or unexpected traffic before an important meeting, can heighten your stress. By focusing on what you can influence, such as creating a positive atmosphere at dinner or allowing extra travel time for that critical checkride, you can tackle these moments with more confidence and clarity, making your experience much more positive.
Control versus Influence
Imagine your family dynamics during a holiday gathering. You can control how you communicate with family members, your approach to resolving conflicts, and your efforts to create a welcoming environment—these are all within your Circle of Control. For instance, you might initiate conversations with empathy or help mediate if tensions come up.
Similarly, when preparing for a checkride, you can control your study habits, practice flights, and manage your nerves. For example, creating a detailed study plan or simulating scenarios can boost your confidence. However, you can only influence—not control—family members' responses or external factors during your checkride, like the examiner's reactions or unexpected setbacks. Recognizing this distinction helps you focus on managing what you can control while approaching external influences with patience and understanding.
Focusing on Your Circle of Influence
By concentrating on your Circle of Influence, like improving communication with your family and preparing effectively for your checkride, you can foster a more positive dynamic. For instance, if tensions rise at dinner, you might shift the conversation to a lighter topic or suggest an activity. In the context of your checkride, staying calm and focused on your prepared responses can help you handle unexpected challenges.
Examples: Circle of Control – Things I Can Control
The Circle of Control is at the center, representing aspects of life you can directly manage, such as your own actions, decisions, and responses. Here are some areas to consider:
Health and Wellness: Control your health by adopting a balanced diet, regular exercise, and routine medical check-ups.
Personal Development: Set development goals and actively seek learning opportunities.
Time Management: Organize tasks and create schedules to enhance productivity.
Financial Decisions: Manage your budgeting, saving, and investing.
Goal Setting: Establish and track personal and professional goals.
Hobbies and Interests: Engage in activities you enjoy to maintain a healthy work-life balance.
Workplace Attitude: Maintain a positive and proactive attitude toward your job.
Communication: Manage your communication style to improve relationships.
Examples: Circle of Influence – Things I Can Influence
The Circle of Influence surrounds the Circle of Control and includes areas where you can have an impact but do not have direct control. For example:
Family Relationships: While you can't control how your family reacts to your schedule, you can influence these relationships through open communication.
Social Connections: Stay engaged with friends and participate in community activities to maintain strong connections.
Personal Health: Follow a balanced diet and manage stress to impact your health positively.
Work-Life Balance: Set boundaries and prioritize downtime.
Financial Management: Budget and plan for future expenses to manage finances effectively.
Personal Growth: Pursue new hobbies or skills for personal satisfaction.
Examples: Outside the Circle of Control – Things I Do Not Control
These aspects are beyond your direct management but still require effective handling within the Circle of Influence:
Other People's Actions and Behaviors: You cannot control how others act, whether colleagues, friends, or family.
External Circumstances and Events: Situations like economic conditions or natural disasters are beyond your control.
Other People's Opinions: You can influence how you present yourself, but you can't dictate others' judgments.
Past Events: Events that have already occurred cannot be changed; you can only manage your response to them.
Global and Societal Issues: Large-scale issues like political instability or climate change are outside individual control, though you can influence how you respond within your community.
Final Thoughts
Setbacks and challenges related to our limitations of control and influence can arise in many areas of life, including relationships, work, and personal goals. These situations can feel overwhelming, leaving you unsure how to manage your feelings and responses effectively.
Reflect on this: What recent challenge made you feel anxious, and how could you apply the Circle of Control and Influence to address it?
✎ Exercise: Identifying Your Circle of Control and Influence
Objective: Learn to distinguish between what you can control, what you can influence, and what is beyond your control to better manage stress.
Materials Needed: Pen and paper
Instructions:
Choose a Situation: Select a specific challenge, such as preparing for a flight evaluation or a holiday dinner.
Create Three Columns: Draw three columns on your paper and label them:
Circle of Control
Circle of Influence
Outside Your Control
List Your Observations:
Circle of Control: Write down factors you can directly manage.
Example: Your preparation routine, stress management, and adherence to protocols.
Circle of Influence: List areas where you can have an impact, even if not in complete control.
Example: Collaborating with your crew and seeking feedback.
Outside Your Control: Note factors you cannot change.
Example: Weather conditions and air traffic decisions.
Reflect: Review your lists and consider:
Can you improve actions in your Circle of Control?
Are there ways to increase your impact in the Circle of Influence?
How will you adapt to factors outside your control?
Develop an Action Plan:
Circle of Control: Identify steps to enhance your effectiveness.
Example: Schedule practice sessions and create a pre-flight checklist.
Circle of Influence: Plan ways to strengthen relationships.
Example: Meet with your instructor for feedback.
Outside Your Control: Prepare strategies to manage these factors.
Example: Develop contingency plans for weather.
Review Regularly: Periodically check your action plan and make adjustments as needed to stay focused and resilient.
Resources
Covey, S. R. (1989). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful lessons in personal change. Free Press.
If you are facing difficulties or seeking to better navigate the balance between what you can control and what you can influence, reach out to Emerald Mental Health. You can email [email protected] or visit the website at www.emeraldmentalhealth.com to request a free consultation.
